so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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