I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
