he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
