Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
