yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
