we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
NoShamevember. You game?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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