making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
