Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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