I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
