I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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