We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
