Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
