i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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