Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
