okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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