I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can you bring me the toilet please
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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