someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
