I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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