i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
