hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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