My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
