I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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