I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
