don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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