You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
