Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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