Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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