respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
