...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
