and my herpes radar will keep us safe
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
