i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
