Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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