It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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