i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
