i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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