I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just had sex on a roof
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
