For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
