what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
