somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
