I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my poor anus
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
