He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
