Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
pop tarts are not kleenex
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
