moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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