today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize