Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
