The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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