Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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