yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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