Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize