i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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