you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
