ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize