another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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