Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize