New low: just hacked my moms facebook
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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