Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
vagina is talking i cant
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
