well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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