so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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