I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize