I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
