she was so not down for the gang bang
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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