i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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