it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
