that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
