i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
