Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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