Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
