i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
