And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
